---------
Language
The brief moment of complete recall had unlocked something in the deepest parts of my brain. It had opened up an area of memory that I never knew existed. Now that I could access it again, it horrified me.
Apart from the dozens upon dozens of tests that had been carried out on me, there was one incredible and terrifying experiment that had not only changed my appearance, my thoughts and wants, but also my ability to communicate. I was dreading what I was about to reveal as I delved deeper into the innermost recesses of my brain. It was too horrific to contemplate, but I had to do it, since it was fundamental to why I was what I was now.
I closed my eyes in the hope it would help me to remember the operation that had been carried out on me. More flashes of past events flickered across my mind's eye, briefly unveiling what had happened.
I saw two people leaning over me. Every few moments they changed the instruments they used, putting one down and picking up another.
Even though the memories came back only in short bursts lasting a fraction of a split second, they seemed to form a sequence, like the thousands of film cells, which when put together, created the illusion of movement.
In the short space of time I remembered what they had done. The operation they had carried out on me. That it involved transplanting my memory from my former human self into the brain of a rabbit and then reprogramming the basic instincts from that of a human to that of a rabbit.
I was still able to think like a human, but instead of wanting to slouch on a comfortable sofa I preferred to lie in the grass; instead of eating a delicious mixed salad, I now much rather ate fresh grass and roots; instead of relaxing with a nice book, I was happy to run round and jump into the air; and instead of having a nice, warm bath, I loved licking my pelt and getting it shiny and smelling of me.
It all sounded absurd, like the fantasies of a mad science-fiction author or the delusions of a deranged mind – but my memories were unmistakable. I once had been a man – and now I was a rodent.
They had successfully reprogrammed me, but somehow I didn’t feel comfortable in the body that I now occupied. The mere thought of what they had done to me sent shivers down my spine, and it was unbearable to imagine that I would be like this for the rest of my life, with the memory of what I once was eating away at me. I had to undo this somehow – I had to get back into my human body... somehow.
The only problem was, how to go about it. As a rabbit I didn’t have a lot of options. I couldn't to speak and I couldn’t think of another way of communicating. And even if I did find a way to make myself understood, there was nobody around here to approach. The situation seemed hopeless.
I decided to get up and make my way back to my burrow. I suddenly started to feel uncomfortable being out in the open like this. I wanted to get back to my new home and lie down. I needed some time in my shelter and collect my thoughts. I knew I had found ways out of impossible situations before and I was hoping I would be able to do it again. Yet I had never encountered anything this bad, so my confidence wasn’t particularly high – but I had to think positively and not give up hope.
I slowly hopped over the grass and headed for the closest entrance to my burrow. The area was still completely calm – no movement whatsoever. After a few more hops I slipped through the access hole and squeezed through the narrow tunnel to my main nest.
It was dark and damp, but also warm and cosy. I felt a lot more comfortable here. It was a place where I had control over what was happening, a place of safety. It was my new home until I figured out a way to become my original self again.
I must have lain in my burrow for a long time, trying to come up with options, ideas or anything, but it seemed useless. Whatever plan I imagined always required me to somehow communicate with someone.
I had to approach this from a different angle. I had to find out where I was, so that I could establish whether there was anybody around. Once I had found that out, I could try and find a way to communicate with them. I was trying too hard and was too many steps ahead of myself. I had to take this a step at a time. That way the situation wouldn’t look as hopeless as it did now.
I smiled to myself – as far as that was possible as a rabbit. I decided to crawl out of my burrow and explore the area more. I had a feeling that I had to make my way through the forest to find a village or town or some other kind of settlement – maybe even just a farm.
When I got out of my burrow, the sun was starting to set. I knew that no other animals were about – or at least I was very sure that there weren’t – but my instincts still told me that night-time wasn’t the best time to be out and about. I was starting to consider postponing my trip until the next morning, but the urge to return to my original self was so strong that I threw out any worries.
I slowly made some cautious hops towards the forest, always listening for noises that might indicate danger, and occasionally standing up on my hind paws and having a good look around to check that there was no danger. The closer I got to the forest, the more confident I became.
Yet, as I arrived at the border to the dark forest and saw the tall, old trees towering above me, I started to get worried. Although the glade had been completely deserted, I couldn’t be sure the forest would be the same. My instincts told me that there would be plenty of nocturnal creatures, most of which were after small prey like myself.
I decided to stop for a moment. I knew what my instincts were telling me, but I also knew that those instincts were that of a rabbit – and not of a human being. Maybe my instincts had been planted into me to ensure that I never escaped the dell and never attempted to make contact with humans. Yet a rabbit travelling through a forest was faced with completely different dangers to those of a human.
At the end of the day, I couldn’t be certain which of my emotions were real and which ones were implanted, so I decided not to ignore my instincts completely and proceed on my journey with care. After all, I had no chance of making contact with anybody if I got swooped up by an owl and ripped to pieces.
I took a deep breath, got up on my hind paws and had another good look around. Then, while still upright, I swivelled my ears forward and listened into the forest to try and make out what was going on inside, if anything. I could only hear the wind which was blowing through the branches of immense trees and made them groan as they swayed from side to side – but nothing else.
I got down on all fours and made a few cautious hops into the forest. I tried to be as quiet as possible, but that was virtually impossible. Inevitably a small twig would snap under my feet, and as I squeezed through the undergrowth there was an audible rustle. I tried to ignore the thought that dozens of eyes were following my every step and were just waiting for the right moment to pounce.
I had travelled quite a distance as the sunlight started to fade. I thought it would be wise to find a safe resting place for the night. I didn’t want to be on the move at the same time as potential predators. I found a nice, small, thorny shrub, and squeezed myself underneath, where there was lovely soft moss, which was going to be an ideal pillow for a good night’s rest. I knew I wouldn’t sleep deeply, my subconscious always listening for potential danger, but at least I would sleep better here than out in the open forest.
Before I lay down to sleep, I gave myself a good clean. My fur had picked up various twigs, leaves, spines and other material and I carefully removed all of them one by one with my mouth. Then I licked my coat until it was nice and shiny and I smelt of myself again. I had a final look and listen and then threw myself into the moss and closed my eyes. One of my ears remained perked up scanning the vicinity for sounds. I was rather tired and the noise of the wind and the creaking trees soon lulled me into a deep sleep.
Tomorrow was going to be an exciting day and I decided to carry on for as long as my feet would carry me. I had no idea whether I heading towards human habitation or whether I was just going to get deeper and deeper into the forest until eventually I had to turn around and try a different direction. This journey could turn into one of a lot of trial and error, with a lot of hope and disappointment on the way, but I was determined to at least give it a go.
No comments:
Post a Comment